Being Intentional: Acknowledging Mental Health in Cybersecurity

Cybersecurity never stops moving. And sometimes, neither do we.

I’ve had periods in my career where I was running and running, working and working—always doing, rarely pausing. I was showing up to every meeting, every event, every deadline… but I wasn’t present.

That’s the moment I realized: this work is stressful, and pretending otherwise doesn’t make it go away. The real challenge is learning to manage and lead through that stress before it turns into burnout.

The Weight Cybersecurity Leaders All Carry

When we talk to cybersecurity leaders, over 66 percent say their role is more stressful than it was five years ago. With a landscape that’s constantly shifting and the stakes higher than ever, it’s not surprising that many of us are struggling with burnout and mental fatigue.

When I speak about mental health, I often reference recent statistics from ISACA:

    •    47 percent of cybersecurity professionals rate their mental health as high.

    •    27 percent say their mental health has declined in the past year.

    •    66 percent experience stress at work.

    •    Only 64 percent acknowledge that stress impacts their productivity.

Those numbers shouldn’t surprise anyone in this field. We operate under constant pressure of protecting sensitive data, meeting compliance standards, defending against evolving threats. The responsibility never truly ends. And yet, few of us talk openly about how it affects our well-being.

Reframing the Mindset and Leading Through Change

Just as our roles evolve, so do the stressors. Sometimes, it’s not just the technology changes that cause stress—it’s the organization, the structure, the people around you, or change itself.

When two companies I worked for merged, I saw that firsthand. Suddenly, we were blending cultures, systems, and personalities. When encountering these types of stressors, I found that reframing not only your mindset, but also your teams, is best way to lead through them.

To keep myself grounded and to support my team during that time, I leaned on something simple but powerful: the Serenity Prayer: “Accept the things we cannot change, find courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

It reminded me that leadership isn’t about controlling every outcome; it’s about guiding through uncertainty.

Around the same time, I discovered Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory, and it completely reframed how I see people. The idea is simple: let people be who they are. You can’t control their behavior, only how you react to it. I couldn’t control everything, but I could control my response. That mindset has helped me stay centered in difficult transitions and manage leadership stress with more grace.

Finding Connection and Support

Even with a strong mindset, it’s easy to feel isolated in cybersecurity leadership. Many of us don’t talk about stress unless it’s with someone we truly trust.

For me, that person is my “cyber sister”, a trusted peer who understands my reality. We check in regularly, send each other motivational notes, and remind each other that we’re doing our best when work feels heavy. It’s simple, but it’s been one of the most effective things I do for my mental health.

A quick check-in or shared laugh can pull you back from the edge of burnout. Those conversations aren’t about solving each other’s problems—they’re about reminding each other that we’re not alone in facing them.

Establishing Mentors

Another thing that’s kept me grounded is mentorship. My relationship with my mentor is unique in that I serve as his mentor, and he also serves as mine. We worked together a few years ago in Georgia, and now meet up once a month to chat and share what’s going well, what’s not, and where we need perspective.

Finding that kind of relationship at the leadership level isn’t easy. Once you reach a certain point in your career, it can feel like everyone expects you to have the answers. But we all still need people who can both listen and challenge us.

My mentor is a relationship I had to seek out by going to him and telling him I could really use somebody to talk to. 

It’s important to be intentional about understanding what you need for your mental health and to be a better leader. Sometimes you must seek those opportunities and connections out for yourself instead of waiting for them to happen naturally.

Setting Boundaries and Managing Priorities

Beyond the demands of our daily work, cybersecurity leaders are invited to events almost every night of the week. For years, I said yes to everything—thinking I was expanding my network, learning more, doing what I “should”.

But I was also draining myself.

If you’re out of the house three nights a week and there are other things that deserve your attention and could contribute to real productivity, that sense of falling behind contributes to burnout. 

This year, I’ve become intentional about what I commit to. I go where I can truly connect, learn, and contribute—not just show up. While working remotely where connection can feel scarce, attending workshops and professional gatherings can help manage my stress through connection with community. But sometimes saying no isn’t selfish, it’s self-preservation.

I take time to acknowledge my mental state and, if needed, I give myself a mental health day. Sometimes that means going to an Innovate event to recharge among peers; other times, it means staying home and doing nothing. What matters is giving myself permission to stop and recalibrate.

Embracing Conflict

In a recent webinar I brought up the topic of embracing conflict, but more accurately I would say it’s important to acknowledge conflict and then address it, to avoid stress.

Sometimes the hardest part of our jobs isn’t the technical challenge—it’s working with difficult personalities or handling tension. But conflict can be healthy. It can reveal what truly matters, create clarity, and help us grow.

A few years ago, my organization hosted a speaker, Susan Hall, who said something I’ll never forget: “Slay the dragon when it’s small.” In other words, don’t let problems fester. Address them early, when they’re still manageable.

That lesson changed how I lead. When you acknowledge what’s causing you stress, you take away its power. Lately, I had to put that into practice more than once. Sometimes that meant calling a meeting and saying, “Let’s put everything on the table. When this happens, it makes me feel this way—and we need to fix it so we can move forward.”

That honesty is uncomfortable, but it’s necessary. It’s how we grow as leaders and as people. Your mental health improves because you squared your shoulders up and dealt with something that you needed to deal with.

Reframing the Stress

Right now, I’m navigating a lot of change in my life and work —personalities, processes, priorities. It can get messy. The pressure of workplace dynamics manifests in many different facets, especially for women in this industry.

When things start to feel overwhelming, I practice reframing. Instead of focusing on what’s going wrong, I look for the lesson or opportunity hidden in it.

Sometimes that means reminding myself that the colleague who constantly interrupts probably isn’t being disrespectful, they just communicate differently.

That simple reframing of choosing how to think has been one of my most powerful tools for maintaining balance and prioritizing my mental health not just in the workplace but in my day to day life.

Closing Thought: The Leadership Lesson on Being Intentional

We spend so much time talking about cloud security, phishing, and ransomware that we forget the essential skills that make us effective leaders. Recognizing and managing stress, communicating clearly, and addressing conflict—these “soft” skills are what leaders need.

Everyone’s stress looks different. For some, it’s the pressure of constant availability; for others, it’s the quiet exhaustion that builds over time. The key is acknowledging it and being intentional about how you manage it.

And sometimes, that starts with a pause, a breath, or a message to your own “cyber sister” saying, I’m feeling it today.

When we take care of ourselves first, we make space to lead with clarity, empathy, and strength.